I got into an argument with a mentor yesterday.
He argued that I should remove "Black-owned" from my website, and just focus on my talent. It's not the first time that he has mentioned it. It was said from a place of not wanting me to be discriminated against for color, but being seen only for my talent.
The fucked up thing is, that he's right. Most white employers (since that's the marjority of business owners) don't want anybody who is "militant" or "difficult" or "outspoken" or "opinionated" or their stereotypical definition of Black.
I'm tired. I hate having to defend my actions to everybody. I hate having to justify everything. I am tire of having to prove my worth or talent every fucking day.
I hate being gaslit.
I hate the fact that if I was white, I would be the head of a fortune 50 company's design department.
Superstore on NBC is an amazing show. It's funny, awkward, heartfelt, and real. Season Six, episode five Black Hair Products sums up in 20 minutes what Black people go through every day, and have gone through since our forced introduction to this country.
The idea that a group of people getting treated differently, even when it's a good thing to empower that group of individuals, is still an outlier for discrimination or prejudice because other people who have always been included feel like they're being left out, but felt ok letting Black people feel left out for centuries. WTF?
Four sentences from this episode perfectly sums this up in regards to "not seeing color".
"Who started to tell White people that? I am sure that it was other White people. But you shouldn't ignore race. You should be aware of how being Black effects our daily lives."
Simple truth exacted from art.
These last couple years have been a struggle creatively. I mean, super hard. I am truly amazed that I have been able to turn out the shit I've been doing. But Black people have always had to do shit under extreme stress and/or trauma.
And that's ok...but not really.