Dammit. I can't get the idea of not seeing my kids out of my head. I mean, they are technically adults, but I feel that I have missed so much of their lives. Shit, I called my mom yesterday because I realized that anytime that you hear from your children it's a good thing. Even if "they just want something."
I am listening to an artist that Logan turned me on to, JPEG Mafia (Peggy), and it's making me realize how much that my children have influenced and enhanced my existence.
It's bittersweet. Painful, but beautiful. I want to share experiences with them, but they are their own people. I mean, I hang with Avery and that's fun. Mainly I just fuck with her and give her shit.
It makes her laugh and she knows that I would do anything for her, the same that I would do for her brothers.
I wish that there was a way to magically fix things. I am trying to do better and be better. I mean, that's all we can do.
And that's ok.